My unhealthy obsession with Jesus.

May 3, 2010 at 2:23 am (Uncategorized) ()

People don’t understand how I can not be a Christian yet I still have a burning obsession with Jesus.
I not only have a obsession with Jesus having gone to a Christian school as a child.I’m totally and completely obsessed with what he represents.I’m not talking about the fuzzy Sunday school Jesus that is all about hugging lambs and loving his fellow man.I’m talking about the exhausted,sweating blood,money changer table throwing,suffering Jesus.
Jesus drank from the dregs of being alone and abandoned.He went out of his way for people and went so far as dying and nobody cared or appreciated it.Jesus is the obsession of the over worked and under appreciated.He couldn’t trust the people he was around or even rely on them in any way shape or form.
Jesus got pissed off and yelled at people and threw things out of frustration.And don’t tell me Jesus didn’t get mad he got MAD.He hit people with whips and broke their stuff.
He was the son of God but still had a job and worked hard.Which is less then I can say for allot of Satanist I know.My Jesus obsession will allot of times chap the ass of allot of Satanist I come across,because I’m not “satanic” enough.Because I have to be a ass and have a obsession with something I want to be obsessed with.Not something that will give me cool brownie points.
I enjoy reading stories about Jesus and the Saints because it gives me great comfort to read about somebody who also went through suffering or trails and just became better more experienced people out of it.
And I have to say I also get a warm fuzzy feeling every time I see a image of Jesus,and I don’t give a damn who likes it or understands it.because it makes ME happy.



  1. Martin G said,

    You brought a sincere and insightful perspective into Jesus, often misunderstood, much touted, but unfortunately hypocritically worshiped by many. The journey toward spiritual enlightenment and understanding is the most personal journey we can take and I find your focus on the struggle, the physicality and the emotional turmoil of the person can help others refocus on the humanism of this great spiritual leader. Your thoughtful analysis ranks up there with C.S. Lewis and some of the other intellectual theologians of time past and present. Bravo!

    Respectfully yours,

  2. Sarah Barker said,

    I feel ya on this one. I have an obsession with Jesus myself. I really don’t think you have to be a washed in the blood, born again to appreciate what his life meant. I don’t think you have to believe he was the son of god to interested in his life, torment, and ultimate murder. I think that Jesus is a very good representation of anyone that lives outside the norm or believes something unpopular. He is the ultimate example of humanity. Outcast, misunderstood, hated…yet, living and dying for what he believed in. How many Satanist, or Christians can make that claim?

  3. mike said,

    Trying to be anything other then yourself to please people in general only ends badly by hurting you.

    Most people don’t like me at all, plain and simple. But I’m glad I’ve always been “ME”.
    I don’t say this with sad eyes and a violin in my hands playin the symathy tune. Fuck em! I’m real, which is more then many can say.

    I think your obsession is a healthy one. It shows intelligence and open mindedness to me.

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